![]() ![]() But it’s hell because we know that the road to get there is most certainly lined with possibilities for failure. It’s wonderful because we see what more we can become. But it’s also stressful, anxiety-provoking, identity-shifting and impostor syndrome-rendering. It’s exciting, it’s amazing, it’s humbling. It is inside of this space, between who we were and who we just realized through this achievement that we can become, that the burden of our potential comes to rest upon our shoulders. Ten things you need to know about Pathological Dem.Each time we accomplish something - big or small - we see a version of ourselves that we didn’t yet know existed.Thank you for sharing your thoughts, knowledge and experiences!!!!! Reply Delete He is so honest and I feel I have failed him these last two years, but we are going to find a way forward. As well as confirms my feeling that he isn't a “naughty child” but rather he struggles. ![]() And it calms my fears about my son just having violent tendencies. Sorry for the very long post, but every post I read is giving me hope after a very difficult and traumatising three years. We probably won't get a formal diagnosis as it is too expensive, but so many of the strategies that I have read up about over these past two weeks are how I have been parenting him generally, although at times I have defaulted back towards traditional parenting or imposes stricter rules/routine. I don't know what it will look like going forward as I have to find a way to keep providing a safe space for him while being able to work as well, but it has given me hope. I didn't know there were other people who felt like me.” We watched a video of a young man explaining what PDA is like for him last night and my son exclaimed, That's like me! And afterwards, “That video made my heart smile. Over the last two years I have felt that we were just drifting further and further apart and I couldn't get why. ![]() And hey, presto! Less fighting, and we actually got some school done! He even started talking more to me. Over the past two weeks I have reverted back to my normal style - giving him much more choice, giving warnings when a transition was about to take place and letting him start his day as slowly as he wants. I have been so frustrated thinking, “But you can do this! You have been before why are you fighting me so hard now?” PDA explains that. But over the past two years, with circumstances being different and trying to work and homeschool I have “needed” a stricter routine. Seldom used consequences to discipline, rather I would talk to him and he would generally get it and be willing to work towards a different solution or behaviour, even as a toddler. I heard about PDA maybe 2 weeks ago and it felt like “Aha!” this makes sense! From an outside point of view I have been a permissive parent. I see him struggle to do simple things and have this battle with being obedient but just not being able to do it. You wouldn't say so looking from the outside, but I see it. He is the most amazing little boy - very empathic, loves cuddles but only with certain people (he overwhelms me with kisses and cuddles at times, but is not always receptive if he is not asked to if he doesn't feel close to someone, it took him years to hug his closest friends whom he knew since a toddler), he does well academically. I have always had a niggly feeling that I am missing something with my son. ![]() I am in the middle of a divorce and things have been crazy the past three years. I am a single parent to a nine year old son. ![]()
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